Taking Time to Fill Your Cup: The Importance of Self-Care for Women
Throughout history, women have been known for their roles as homemakers and caregivers, always making sure their families are happy, fed, and cared for. As society has changed, more women have joined the workforce, juggling jobs and household responsibilities. Even with these changes, traditional roles often still fall heavily on women, making it feel like their 'second job' starts the moment they walk through the door.
In today’s busy world, it’s easy for women to put work and family first, leaving their own well-being last. But skipping self-care can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and a lower quality of life. It’s important to remember that filling your cup isn’t a luxury—it’s necessary for keeping balance and staying healthy.
As the whakataukī goes, “He wahine, he whenua, ka ngaro te tangata” (For a woman and land, men perish). This shows how important women are—without their well-being, everything else can fall apart. Just as women are central to caring for their families and communities, they need to take care of themselves to keep everything running smoothly.
Here are some simple ways to make self-care a priority, even when life gets busy:
Set Boundaries: Draw clear lines between work and home life. Set specific times for work and personal activities to keep them from blending together, which can cause burnout.
Schedule ‘Me Time’: Just like you plan work meetings and family activities, plan some time just for yourself. Whether it’s reading, exercising, or enjoying a hobby, make sure to set aside time for things that help you recharge.
Share the Load: Divide household chores and caregiving tasks with family members. Get everyone involved in keeping the household running smoothly to lighten your load.
Practice Mindfulness: Add simple mindfulness activities like meditation or deep breathing into your day. These can help lower stress and boost your overall well-being.
Ask for Help: Remember, it takes a village. Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or professional services for support. Building a support network can ease emotional stress and provide practical help. People often want to help more than you might think—they just need you to ask.
Check In and Adjust: Regularly look at your workload and responsibilities. Make changes as needed to keep yourself from being overwhelmed and to maintain a healthy balance.
Above all, being kind and caring to yourself is the most important thing. Taking time to fill your cup not only helps you but also those around you. When you’re well-rested and happy, you’re better able to care for others and handle your many roles.
Treat yourself to something nice, even if it’s simple. Whether it’s once a week, a month, or whenever you can fit it in, set a reminder to do something just for you. It doesn’t have to be expensive—maybe grab a takeaway coffee and enjoy it at your favourite beach. If you’re near Brown’s Bay, where I work, it’s a lovely spot to relax! Run a bubble bath, or buy yourself some flowers.
I often have to remind myself of the advice I give to my clients. As the wife of a FIFO (Fly In Fly Out) husband, I’m the main caregiver for our two beautiful children. Towards the end of my degree, I found myself exhausted, trying to be everything for my kids, while working part-time and studying. I felt guilty for even thinking about doing something for myself, but I learned that taking care of myself is crucial.
In Māori traditions, wāhine (women) were the kaitiaki (guardians) of the whenua (land) and the keepers of the next generation. As the proverb says, “Ko te wahine te kaitiaki o te ao” (The woman is the guardian of the world). Women are seen as protectors and caregivers, playing a key role in keeping balance and harmony. To do this well, make self-care a priority in your life. Taking care of yourself isn’t just important—it’s essential.
